Ok, so I finished the book The Shack and it turned out to be one of those wonderful things in life that you happen upon that changes something in you. You realize that you are ok and the way you think is ok and your spirit is ok. You also find out that there are things that aren't ok. You learn about judgement and power and the very definitions of those words and you realize that they are certainly not on the path to a happy and fulfilled life.

My goal is to love everyone including myself. It is so easy to dismiss or criticize but all it is doing is hurting. Both you and the other person. I am so guilty of judging and criticizing that I almost have trouble forgiving myself for it. Almost...

Trust - isn't that an easy one? No, not at all. How often in life do you actually open up the curtain of trust fully? Yea, me either. I did take a chance and open my heart to Chris and, oh, how I am glad I did. What a great feeling it is to trust. I never had a male role model to learn trust from. I had men in Mom's life and men in my life that totally sucked. They all seemed to be so bad. I wonder sometimes why it was so easy to trust Chris. I think it is because he has a heart so big that it seems tangible. Don't we tend to trust things that are touchable? Because they are solid? Well, that is how I feel about Chris. His love for me is solid and I trust him completely.

Forgiveness - There have been many things throughout my life that I have had to forgive. Not just people and what they have done but also that whole dysfunction thing that everyone seems to blame their problems on. Maybe you had a rotten childhood, or your parents drank all the time, or they fought all the time, or blamed you for things that happen in their life. Do you let those things make you who you are? Do you let those things eat away your life? Do you really think you have to be what someone else tells you or leads you to believe? I don't. You have to forgive all of that and be the person you want and need to be.

I made a choice a long time ago that I would do my best to be who I want to be and live the way I want to live. It has not been easy and sometimes it is really hard to stand by those convictions when you have people all around telling you no. It is easy to judge others when you have people around who judge others or people who judge you. I don't want to hear any criticism of me, particularly my family, or how we live. We are who we are. Shouldn't that be good enough?

That book opened up my mind to a whole other way of thinking when it comes to God and how I should perceive His want for me. For the longest time, after hearing how I would go to hell for my sins, I feared God. I feared how my life would end. I didn't want to be judged. How in the world did I find God in a book? Well, I have to admit that I really didn't want to read the book based on it's subject content. Without giving anything away, there is a terrible tragedy that turns into to an incredible journey. Not in the way you think but something entirely heart wrenching and healing. Healing and experiencing like I have never known. Ok, maybe you think I am heading down a religious freak road but, for me, I simply think I made a huge step to truly living my life the way I want to live it and I think God would be proud.

Do you remember the movie What Dreams May Come? That movie broke my heart in a way I didn't think it could be broken - it had already been broken so many other ways. But it also showed me a different heaven than I thought existed. I had limited myself to believe what I had learned from someone else. Someone else's interpretation of what religion should be. As it turns out, I am free to interpret my spirituality on my own. Imagine that??

I don't want to influence anyone who hasn't read the book. It is not a preaching book. Some parts are very hard to read but the end is well worth it. You have to read it slowly and I hope that you are able to take from it something that affects you personally and spiritually. Something that makes you comfortable with yourself and with God.

I did.