Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Ears Are Invisible

 
 
 
When someone is speaking to you, do you really listen?
Are your ears invisible because you are unfocused and/or conjuring up your own response or experience?
 
 
 Ralph Nichols said
"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. They best way to understand people is to listen to them".

 
 I need to talk about ears right now. Being heard is vital. It validates feelings whether the other person agrees with them or not, it lends value making that person feel they are important enough to listen to, it creates connection that so many of us long for every day, and it can heal pain, resentment, loneliness, and fear. So why do we fail at really listening?

We fail because we have become self-absorbed. We fail because human relationships have become impersonal. We fail because more than not, things matter more than people. What a complete shame. When you think about it, where does the bulk of your joy ascend from - things or people? Exactly.

Empathy is relevant anymore. I am guilty. I, so many times, find myself thinking of my response, thinking of something else entirely, wondering the intent of one's words, or judging. I should really be consciously hearing, feeling, seeing, and understanding their thoughts and words.
I make a serious effort to do that as much as humanly possible. I don't succeed every time but I try.

On the other end, because I am the "ears" for so many people, I feel a need to put their feelings and needs above my own. I want so badly to make people happy. I am truly interested in what they have to say  and how they come about their ideas. I am also grateful that I am the person that others feel comfortable and trusting enough to share their inner most thoughts with.
Very grateful.
 
 
  
 I have one question though...where are my ears?
They are invisible.
When I need someone to HEAR me or understand me, I feel like there aren't ears that want to listen. That I am irrelevant, that their thoughts and needs are far more important and extensive than my own .Every one has a story. It is true. Why aren't there enough ears to listen?
 
Listening isn't just opening your ears. It is opening your heart,  opening you mind, and quite possibly changing someone's life forever.
 
Simply by making your ears visible.
  
 
LISTEN.
 
YOU JUST MIGHT MAKE SOMEONE FEEL...
 
VISIBLE.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Thoughts

It's been a little while y'all. What a bunch has happened. Not only do we now have a new life to care for, we have developing girl issues with the big kid. Sometimes it strikes me as funny how life wanders it's paths. Many times you think you will be led toward one direction only  to find yourself traveling the opposite way.
That's good. Life doesn't ever work the way you think it should. It simply works the way it...well, should.. We see new things, learn different paths, and adapt to what we need to.
The important things in my life: family (always first), friends, smiling, listening, encouraging, improving, working, earning, caring, loving. After all, aren't those the things that make up life?
I may not be able to record all that I wish I could. Lynora may look back and say "Hey Lady, where is my life documented?" I will simply have to respond that it is within our thoughts and memories.  Mom always told me that life starts moving faster the older you get. I just want all those I love to know that my life is happy because they are in it and whether I leave sooner or later, they made it worth living. Especially those three people who are my whole entire world...Chris, Sophie, and Lynora. It would be nothing without you.

Somewhere Inside

  • I keep all of Sophie's drawings.
  • The cleaning bug doesn't usually bite me but when it does it is usually all out. I go overboard.
  • I love things that touch my heart.
  • I love a good heart wrenching book or movie.
  • I believe in fairy tales.
  • I wish I could let go of all of my insecurities and live completely free.
  • I feel like I get on people's nerves.
  • I want to be noticed but I don't like attention.
  • I have trouble sleeping - too many thoughts and fears.
  • Music makes my soul feel free.
  • I can be terribly stubborn.
  • I can be judgemental
  • Mountains make me happy.
  • I secretly wish I could afford to focus my energy on some type of art and my family, not a "job".
  • I often feel out of place or irrelevant.
  • I enjoy detail specific activities.
  • Sophie can make me the happiest person in the world and break my heart so completely - all in the same instant.
  • Chris can do the same thing.
  • I can read a day away.
  • Friendships are hard for me.
  • Philosophy intrigues me.
  • I love Willie Wonka.
  • I fear early death.
  • I wish my mother could be here.