Friday, May 5, 2017

Importance

I know it's late and I know what you think...
Why the fuck is this chick up so late?

1. I seriously ADORE a thunderstorm. That in itself would keep me awake simply to hear the rain fall and feel Mother Nature's power.
2. Thunderstorms are excellent for introspection and y'all  know I'm full of that shit. 😳
3. Thunder almost echoes my inner voice. I wish you would listen.
4. Happiness isn't something that you search for and find, nor is it something that just is. You are able to find it, lose it, find it again over and over during your lifetime. Make sure that if you are "in" it right now that the other person, you, or the universe is aware. It can change quickly or very slowly. Both can be incredibly sad.
5. If you, on the other hand, find joy in any given moment,celebrate that shit right this second. Say it, pray it, sing it out loud. The person who needs to hear it will. Even if it's you.
6. Life makes you sad. It can and will pull you down pretending it is not as bad as you think. But that's not really life is it? Life is lifting; it reminds you all the time that you are special and you presence here is meant to be. You are important and no matter how long or how short, life is on your side. And you matter in every way.
7. I could have become a preacher of sorts (ha ha!) but instead I write. I realize it isn't always rainbows and sunshine but I'm not either.
Are any of us?
I hope its okay with you because I really need to write. Writing is my scripture, my testimony. I really need to share my feelings - good, bad, sad, or introspective. It's the only way I feel important, heard, and human.
Because being heard and/or understood is so important.

I sure hope you can hear me.

Real life?

How do you ever know, through the wind and rain, that sunlight will meet you on the other side?
You don't.
You appreciate what nature offers forth..
Then you decide what to take with you and what you leave behind.
I suppose that is day to day life isnt it?

Or the entirety of life.


Somewhere Inside

  • I keep all of Sophie's drawings.
  • The cleaning bug doesn't usually bite me but when it does it is usually all out. I go overboard.
  • I love things that touch my heart.
  • I love a good heart wrenching book or movie.
  • I believe in fairy tales.
  • I wish I could let go of all of my insecurities and live completely free.
  • I feel like I get on people's nerves.
  • I want to be noticed but I don't like attention.
  • I have trouble sleeping - too many thoughts and fears.
  • Music makes my soul feel free.
  • I can be terribly stubborn.
  • I can be judgemental
  • Mountains make me happy.
  • I secretly wish I could afford to focus my energy on some type of art and my family, not a "job".
  • I often feel out of place or irrelevant.
  • I enjoy detail specific activities.
  • Sophie can make me the happiest person in the world and break my heart so completely - all in the same instant.
  • Chris can do the same thing.
  • I can read a day away.
  • Friendships are hard for me.
  • Philosophy intrigues me.
  • I love Willie Wonka.
  • I fear early death.
  • I wish my mother could be here.