Saturday, January 17, 2009

Sshhhhhhh...


“So if we love someone, we should train in being able to listen.
By listening with calm and understanding,
we can ease the suffering of another person.”
- Thich Nhat Hanh

I have always been the one pegged to hear other peoples thoughts, fears, and troubles. It isn't something that I ask for...it just is that way.

I attribute that inclination to my ability to listen.
I listen because I am truly interested in and care about what is being said.

Granted, I may give my opinion afterward, sometimes too quickly and without being asked but my intention is not to judge but help ease suffering.
I sincerely do want to hear how people think and feel.
Not only do I connect to them in an intimate way but I also absorb other feelings and directions to use as my own. I am unsure if that makes me more accessible or less.

I listen to everything I can.

Think about nature and all of her glorious voices singing all around us.
A cricket chirping, thunder rolling, rain falling, sounds that lead us to such repose. Such repose that could not be replicated any other way. I remember sitting on Mamaw's porch watching the storms coming over the mountain.
Feeling the electricity, hearing the thunder, and seeing such powerful displays of God's orchestra.
It was part of my life that my family wanted me to experience and
I did.
There is nothing that will ever replace that and I shall pass it on to my family.

My trouble with conviviality is that I too have my own thoughts and opinions and I feel separated from others as a result. I construe that to a lack of self -confidence which I work hard to control as I do not want to pass that mannerism to my daughter. Even as a listener and a go-to person, I do tend to feel as if I do not fit in with any person or group completely. There are a few people - I could count on one hand - that I am truly comfortable with. Does that make me a true listener or does that make me a cast-away?
Use me when you need me?
Or is that only my perception?

As for my daughter...if there were ever a person to listen to, it would certainly be her. Not only do kids say the darnedest things, but they also speak with truth, innocence, and imagination. How could you not listen?
Sophie told us a few weeks ago that when she was still in Heaven, God told her she would have a Mommy and Daddy named Chris and Rachelle. She said, at first, she did not want to go, but God said it would be OK. Thus we have our insanely beautiful and immensely brilliant (we all think that huh?) daughter.
She was sent to us to save us.
And we needed to be saved.
Saved us she has.

Listening to your heart is an intrinsically important part of life.
If I had not listened to mine,
I would not have what is now outstandingly important to me.

When I was young, I used to wish on stars and I believed in fairy tales.
Those things do come true if listen close enough to make them recognizable.
Listening is the cornerstone of life.

You learn, you love, you want, you need,
you should always
LISTEN.

I doubt your path will ever venture in the wrong direction when lead by what your ears tell your heart and your mind.
Follow that path.
LISTEN...




Somewhere Inside

  • I keep all of Sophie's drawings.
  • The cleaning bug doesn't usually bite me but when it does it is usually all out. I go overboard.
  • I love things that touch my heart.
  • I love a good heart wrenching book or movie.
  • I believe in fairy tales.
  • I wish I could let go of all of my insecurities and live completely free.
  • I feel like I get on people's nerves.
  • I want to be noticed but I don't like attention.
  • I have trouble sleeping - too many thoughts and fears.
  • Music makes my soul feel free.
  • I can be terribly stubborn.
  • I can be judgemental
  • Mountains make me happy.
  • I secretly wish I could afford to focus my energy on some type of art and my family, not a "job".
  • I often feel out of place or irrelevant.
  • I enjoy detail specific activities.
  • Sophie can make me the happiest person in the world and break my heart so completely - all in the same instant.
  • Chris can do the same thing.
  • I can read a day away.
  • Friendships are hard for me.
  • Philosophy intrigues me.
  • I love Willie Wonka.
  • I fear early death.
  • I wish my mother could be here.