tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22421937644039312452024-02-07T04:55:04.366-05:00My Southern SoulThoughts linger upon my lips and mind, all tangled up in my Southern soul.mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.comBlogger56125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-77042727532586878732021-09-22T22:42:00.003-04:002021-09-22T22:42:35.204-04:00Voice - Throwback December 2017<p style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;"> <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">My heart belongs to words and I send questions into the universe hoping someone will pick up on my notions. </span></span></p><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">That person will understand my exact need and respond with love. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">Simple words or discernment that mollifies the emotional comfort I do desperately desire. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">To be often spoken over; it isn’t conducive to confident self-importance. It happens more than I care to admit. </span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">The thing is - I know I’m important, worthy of this world, meant to be here for larger purposes. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">So, though it hurts me when you overlook me, you may not understand just what you are overlooking.</span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">We are all the same...human. </span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">Our voices, our feelings, our emotions, and choices - they are worthy of open ears and hearts. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">I just wish there were so many more of these. </span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">Imagine the effect you could have on one person. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">Imagine how the entire world would change. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">Please listen. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">And let others know they are heard. </span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">It hurts too much to be overlooked and over-spoken. </span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">Nonetheless, I wish everyone well. Always. </span></div><div dir="auto" style="font-family: inherit; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #f3f3f3;">I will find my voice whether you want to hear it or not.</span></div></div>mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-43038394921339324092021-08-20T23:49:00.000-04:002021-08-20T23:49:04.639-04:00A Bloom<div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="64c1q-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="64c1q-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="64c1q-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">A plant starts out as a whole. If someone cares for it and tends to its needs, it will grow. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="3ahjc-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3ahjc-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="3ahjc-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">And I did, for a while. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="9roe7-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9roe7-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="9roe7-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">But when someone starts to overlook it - forget to water it, leave it in a small pot, forget to care for it, the plant will start to whither. and sag. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="d7sse-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="d7sse-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="d7sse-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">And I did. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="9q6k3-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="9q6k3-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="9q6k3-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">For so very long. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="36p76-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="36p76-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="36p76-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">But someone came along that noticed. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="avtak-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="avtak-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="avtak-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">And begun to care, to tend, to feed that whithered little plant. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="bke6q-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bke6q-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="bke6q-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">It noticed the sunlight again. And it grew. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="6tghu-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="6tghu-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="6tghu-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">It understood its importance. And it grew.</span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="b2e72-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="b2e72-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="b2e72-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">It was given nutrients, attention, and love. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="af722-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="af722-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="af722-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">And it flowered. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="76pe-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="76pe-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="76pe-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">As did I. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="2gjgp-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="2gjgp-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="2gjgp-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">The funny thing? </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="cms3n-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="cms3n-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative; text-align: center;"><span data-offset-key="cms3n-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">That, someone, was me. </span></div></div><div class="" data-block="true" data-editor="mvr" data-offset-key="cqubu-0-0" style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: "Segoe UI Historic", "Segoe UI", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="cqubu-0-0" style="direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; position: relative;"><span data-offset-key="cqubu-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br data-text="true" /></span></div></div><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: #242526; color: #e4e6eb; font-family: inherit; font-size: 15px; white-space: pre-wrap;">My flower has begun to bloom again.</span> </p>mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-49180389714122636252021-06-12T21:49:00.000-04:002021-06-12T21:49:29.612-04:00I Thought, But I Was Wrong<p>This past year has been especially reflective. </p><p>So much, yet so little. </p><p>So profound, yet so very simple. </p><p>What a fucking hardship, yet incredible pause in the monotony of life's non-stop go-go-go. </p><p>We've all lost something or someone in all of this. That is the saddest part, the hardest part. </p><p>The fear, the heartbreak, the loss, the unknown. </p><p>I've wanted to put my thoughts into words for so long. I will try, but know that a thousand sentences couldn't adequately explain what my soul feels on any single day. </p><p> </p><p>I've learned that people I thought I knew, I really didn't. And I judged. </p><p>I've learned that decisions others made that I didn't agree with were incorrect. And I judged. </p><p>I've learned that the way some think if far from the way I think. And I judged. </p><p>I've learned that I have and may continue to lose friendships because of differences. Sadly. </p><p>I've learned that I can't make everyone happy nor can I make everyone agree. And I judged...myself. </p><p>I've learned that I can't make something work that is too far broken. And I resented that. </p><p>I've learned that our children are considerably stronger, more independent, intelligent, and influential that we ever were. And I am so proud. </p><p>I've learned to forgive myself more, even when that voice in my head keeps telling me what a shitty human I am. I'm tuning it out. </p><p>I've learned that I can be happy, that I'm not stuck, that ruts are made to get out of, stronger than when you went in. I'm shoveling y'all. </p><p>I've learned that I can depend on me more than anyone else and that is a very good thing. I am a enough. </p><p>I've learned that I can do anything I choose, I just need to believe it and do it. I let another voice tell me I couldn't for too long. </p><p>I've learned that people will choose belief over science, and there is nothing that will change that. But I tried. </p><p>I've learned that people will choose themselves over the good of others. I can't help them. </p><p>I've learned that people have closed minds and I can't open them. Who am I anyway?</p><p>I've learned that the world is too far broken for one person to fix, but you can't lose hope. Yet I did. </p><p>I've learned that everything is so much bigger than we understand. And I stopped trying to figure it out. </p><p>I've learned that turning inward, focusing on your own heart, is truly living. I haven't for so long. </p><p>I've learned that hate is a viral poison far more harmful than any natural enemy. I refuse it. </p><p>I've learned that acceptance and love - both for others and ourselves - are the very essence of what it means to live. I am living.</p><p>I've learned that some people believe violence and retaliation is an acceptable form of revolution. It isn't. </p><p>I've learned that this country is so far divided and ill-lead that we may never come back together. I fear for our future. </p><p>I've learned that judging others for their beliefs, decisions, and thoughts is unacceptable. We may not agree. But you do you, let me do me. And we should all keep the peace. </p><p>I learned (again) that I have a voice, it is important, as am I. I was made to think differently for a very long time. But I can hear it again. </p><p>Man, I could go on. </p><p>It all boils down to judgment doesn't it? </p><p>I am so guilty and will continue to be. But with every instance, every experience, every interaction, I learn to judge less and less. I make sure I try to find a lesson in every single one. </p><p>And with every lesson, comes less judgment. </p><p>Better understanding. </p><p>Like I said, I thought. </p><p>But I was wrong. </p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p> </p>mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-53391558816175341222021-05-23T12:38:00.000-04:002021-05-23T12:38:09.713-04:00Tiny Band-Aids<p style="text-align: center;"> <span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">They say that when you have a child, </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">your heart will forever walk outside of your body. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">And it does. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">My heart has been broken so many times</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">that it has become numb to certain things and people.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">But never to my child. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">My heart has lost its wonder and belief. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">But hers hasn't.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">It has tiny little band-aids from little heartbreaks</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">yet it still emits wonder and enormous love. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Shadows Into Light"; font-size: x-large;">Until yesterday.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;"> Now among those tiny band-aids, there is a large one. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">One that shouldn't be there </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">because a grown-up made a decision </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">that broke a very big piece. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">Seeing that big heartbreak wounded my heart </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">in a way that I'd never known. </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Shadows Into Light"; font-size: x-large;">See, broken heart pieces are part of life.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">But hers has just begun.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">Life scatters broken heart pieces freely, </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">yet I know she will heal.</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">As for me, having to watch it </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">through my own heart as well as hers</span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;"> is something </span><span style="font-family: "Shadows Into Light"; font-size: x-large;">a thousand tiny band-aids </span></p><p style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Shadows Into Light"; font-size: x-large;">will never be able to heal. </span></p>mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-17663163544693800002021-02-05T08:11:00.000-05:002021-02-05T08:11:03.821-05:00Underwater<p style="text-align: center;"> </p><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">The world is wonder and light,</span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">Though with its share of dark. </span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">We see what we want to see. </span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">I'm trying, no struggling, to focus </span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">On all that is lovely.</span></span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">That dark though, it's a heavy weight.</span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">I carry it like a sinker on a line.</span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">How I pray that I notice the sun.</span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">And all of the beauty it enlightens.</span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">Every day.</span></span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">And even in the night,</span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">I pray the moon helps me remember </span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">That there is constant light,</span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">that I am not drowning and</span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">I can always surface </span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">and breathe in life </span></span></div><div dir="auto" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;">whenever I need it...</span></span></div></div>mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-74878152596875139982020-09-15T11:51:00.002-04:002021-08-20T23:53:53.241-04:00Scratches<p> </p><p><br /></p><div class="kvgmc6g5 cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="margin: 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;"><b>The child says “Mom, I feel like my heart is held together with bandaids. My feelings get hurt and there are scratches on my heart that still don’t have bandaids”. </b></span></span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;"><b>The mom hugs the child tightly while the scratches on her own heart grow deeper. </b></span></span></div></div><div class="o9v6fnle cxmmr5t8 oygrvhab hcukyx3x c1et5uql ii04i59q" style="margin: 0.5em 0px 0px; overflow-wrap: break-word; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div dir="auto"><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Shadows Into Light; font-size: large;"><b>-RA</b></span></span></div></div>mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-71336411137456761762020-07-06T23:13:00.000-04:002020-07-06T23:13:55.618-04:00ExhaustedI've been tired for so many years. The gouge of daily life seems to only deepen.<br />
My body, a physical manifestation of pain.<br />
My mind, misunderstood or too complicated for the masses.<br />
It is both poison and wine.<br />
<br />
The poison keeps dissipating any semblance of happiness, while the wine both encourages and conceals.<br />
A roundabout that hasn't any exits.<br />
A darkness that hasn't any light.<br />
It just keeps weighting down like a sinker.<br />
<br />
The tired fog envelopes like a tarnished cloud.<br />
No amount of polishing could bring about the shine.<br />
It sits there heavy, like solid silver.<br />
Never worth its weight in gold.<br />
<br />
You scream for help, plead for someone to feel what you feel.<br />
In silence.<br />
Because your real voice is never heard.<br />
Everyone always hears what they want.<br />
<br />
The knot in your chest ebbs and flows like the tide.<br />
It is always there, but sometimes you can forget it and smile.<br />
I wish it were opposite.<br />
Where my smile is always there, but sometimes I feel the knot.<br />
<br />
Being alone, but not wanting to be near.<br />
Wanting to be wanted, yet unable to give anymore.<br />
It is all so cumbersome. A strain on my very soul.<br />
Outside the depiction is physical. Inside I'm...well,<br />
<br />
Exhausted.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-22870794298302123022019-05-19T19:56:00.000-04:002019-05-20T06:03:39.389-04:00WolvesThe Universe told me.<br />
That I was not like the others.<br />
I knew that from a very young age.<br />
<br />
So I followed that voice.<br />
It lead me straight.<br />
With lots of wrong turns.<br />
<br />
So here I am.<br />
With myself.<br />
My soul in the mirror.<br />
<br />
I see.<br />
I know.<br />
It just takes movement.<br />
<br />
I try.<br />
I fail.<br />
And I fail again.<br />
<br />
It wakes me up at night.<br />
And I vow to change.<br />
But I make the same decision.<br />
<br />
Except that my kids see too.<br />
They accelerate the process.<br />
They force the vision of what should be.<br />
<br />
And it is right.<br />
They are smarter.<br />
They know the way so much better than I.<br />
<br />
So I listen.<br />
I correct when necessary.<br />
I am, in fact, their mother.<br />
<br />
It is hard.<br />
I let them down.<br />
I don't mean to.<br />
<br />
But I know things.<br />
I know that no matter what,<br />
My girls will know their way through me.<br />
<br />
They will know<br />
Because I knew before them.<br />
I knew my kids were changers.<br />
<br />
My girls will lead.<br />
At least I hope they see that enough in themselves to do so.<br />
Because they can.<br />
<br />
That will broaden and elevate their own voices and thoughts.<br />
I hope I encourage them to speak.<br />
To ensure their voices aren't lost or neglected.<br />
<br />
They will be so much better than me.<br />
I was silent for so long.<br />
But I'm not now.<br />
<br />
They need to know who I am.<br />
What I stand for.<br />
And why I scream.<br />
<br />
It. Is. ALL. For. Them.<br />
<br />
That's what the universe was telling me.<br />
I was too young to understand<br />
Until I had children.<br />
<br />
Until I had daughters...<br />
<br />
Our rights should always be protected.<br />
Our bodies should always be ours.<br />
Our voices should always be heard.<br />
<br />
And if you listen closely, they have always spoken clearly.<br />
You just have to be "man" enough to not only hear them,<br />
But respect them.<br />
<br />
After all, we run with wolves.mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-5677184651746283192019-03-27T17:06:00.000-04:002019-03-27T17:06:06.934-04:00Today<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; text-align: center;">
Today</div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I'm sad but I can't quite say why</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
The world is sad and I can give you a thousand reason for its tears. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Water still flows smoothly over obstacles and flowers bloom through concrete.</div>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: inherit;"><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Hearts still fall in love after being broken a hundred times.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm aware of things I choose to ignore.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">There is a constant internal argument in my head that is neverending.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It deflates me.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I need focus but there is a circus in my mind.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Acts in every ring.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't want to look.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I want to swim underwater, be weightless and quiet.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But the weight on my shoulders is so heavy.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I don't want to drown.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The noise in my mind both reminds me that I am alive and keeps me from living.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The sun warms my face and the wind blows through my fingers.</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Why can't I feel them?</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Why can't I feel anything?</span></div>
</span><br />
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; text-align: center;">
And that's just today...</div>
</div>
mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-84287414915186032932019-03-07T19:16:00.000-05:002019-03-07T19:16:03.843-05:00Nothing - Something that is NonexistentA spark, random, embering<br />
Ignited an entire night sky<br />
For years there was only light<br />
It was spectacular, might, unyielding.<br />
And it was light, ethereal, and melodious.<br />
<br />
It was something.<br />
<br />
If you reached to touch it<br />
Both the breeze and flame would coil around your fingers<br />
And settle into your mind<br />
It affected you<br />
Something came to rest inside, quietly and completely<br />
<br />
Ah, but time, it has a way of extinguishing a flame<br />
It’s slowness calms the breeze<br />
It turns softness into concrete<br />
And the ember no longer burns<br />
Only ashes remain<br />
<br />
As they disappear into the surrounding,<br />
Something becomes nonexistent.<br />
<br />
Nothing.mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-48968127955636184012019-01-20T16:05:00.000-05:002019-01-20T16:05:26.468-05:00My Heart ❤️ “I will read long books and the journals of dead writers. I will feel closer to them than I ever felt to people I used to know before I withdrew from the world. It will be sweet and cool this friendship of mine with dead poets, for I won’t have to touch them or answer their questions. They will talk to me and not expect me to answer. And I’ll get sleepy listening to their voices explain the mysteries to me. I’ll fall asleep with the book still in my fingers, and it will rain.”<br />
<br />
Talk to Me Like the Rain and Let Me Listen, Tennessee Williamsmysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-19797055891929177522018-08-19T00:39:00.005-04:002018-08-19T00:39:52.234-04:00Dying<div style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
There is a voice always speaking</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It says I'm never enough. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That I will never be nor should I try. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That I'm not worth being. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But I am and I keep trying.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px;">
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The battle is daily and I try to ignore the screams.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yet they work their way in and deplete the roots I try so desperately to tend and grow within my psyche. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm just one of those without a "green" thumb. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The only things that seem to cultivate are poison weeds.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Some days it's an ocean with waves overtaking my breath,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then it ebbs slowly.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Oh, that time is immeasurable, splendid. Even if for only a moment.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But those waves always return; sucking the breath right out of me, assuring me I will drown. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yet I don't.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then there are those days where the breeze ruffles the flowers and grass as I lie in the sunshine within the scent of just being.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The leaves whisper stories of history past and all that is to be. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am content. I listen.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Then the clouds gather, the skies turn grey, and the rain begins. Oh so lovely rain. You cleanse me of the world we live in, even just for a moment.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It is worth every single drop on my skin and on our Earth.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Raindrops are themselves a rebirth of sorts.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div style="font-family: inherit; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I beg you to aid in cultivating my true roots. Water them with your strength and sustain them with your boundlessness.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">There is only so much I can do.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And I'm weary, so very weary. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Sprinkle me with your miracle.and allow me to thrive.</span></div>
</div>
mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-27778438274084976842017-12-11T00:44:00.000-05:002018-01-25T22:57:27.668-05:00I WalkSee, here’s the thing. I just want you to hear me.<br />
To understand that I’m a good person.<br />
I have a voice worth hearing.<br />
A woman who sees many things.<br />
More importantly, a human who can understand well beyond common context.<br />
<br />
I don't say that boastfully.<br />
It is simply true.<br />
I always have, even as a young child.<br />
My heart developed words that my mind heard.<br />
I have always listened.<br />
<br />
I respect your opinion, your thoughts, your ways.<br />
So why can’t you just accept me?<br />
Why do I even have to ask?<br />
Why do I even care?<br />
Why should I?<br />
<br />
I’m so tired of your (of everyone's)<br />
inability to allow me to be me.<br />
It's too much I suppose.<br />
Don't be sad for me or assume I need sympathy.<br />
Don't feel like you have to say something.<br />
<br />
I’m not always happy; in fact, I’m usually struggling with something every single moment.<br />
I have anxiety and depression.<br />
It is diagnosed.<br />
It can rear its ugly head and bring me tomy knees.<br />
It’s really fucking cumbersome and I get tired.<br />
<br />
I have so many moments I don’t share because none of you understand.<br />
How can you explain something to others that they can’t see?<br />
Cant even feel?<br />
But I do, profoundly.<br />
But I'm not the sad girl.<br />
<br />
I want to shout. So loudly.<br />
But no one wants to hear that do they?<br />
I want state fervently every word that comes to mind.<br />
Obviously, that shit doesn’t work.<br />
I accept that.<br />
<br />
I really just want to leave.<br />
To be alone.<br />
To take care of me because no one else can.<br />
And to let nature surround me with loving warmth<br />
even on the coldest days.<br />
<br />
I know I make you uncomfortable.<br />
I know you don’t know what to say.<br />
I get it.<br />
I understand, some things are just too much.<br />
Maybe I am too much.<br />
<br />
That’s why I feel alone.<br />
You wouldn’t hold my hand anyway; you’re too timid.<br />
So I walk alone.<br />
As I guess I should.<br />
I suppose that is what is meant for me.<br />
<br />
<br />
I think I'm okay with that.<br />
So...I Walk.<br />
I walk.mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-83432395400155039562017-09-17T20:58:00.000-04:002017-09-17T21:07:39.067-04:00Sad Girl<div style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="background-color: #d9ead3;"><span style="line-height: 19.32px;">No one likes the sad girl. She lingers in the corners watching, listening, building castles in the air; it makes you uneasy so you do your best to ignore her.</span><span style="line-height: 19.32px;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="background-color: #d9ead3;">No one likes to hear her speak, for she speaks most often of the dark places in her mind. Those dark places are like mirrors and you are afraid of what you might see. Her eyes are like oceans - what lies beneath also lies within. She can see things hidden, she can hear the whispers of the waves, and she can f<span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">eel what is suppressed. She is the storm.<br />No one likes to watch her move because her paths are uncharted, unfamiliar, and seemingly indefinite. Her fingers touch the leaves as she walks by, her hand catches the wind through the window. She stops to let the sun shine all of its warmth into her soul. She is the reason for your apprehension. She makes you still.<br />No one likes the sad girl, her tears and her words contain unfathomable weight. Too much for this world. Along her lines are stories, written by every second she has lived and ever will live. Every wrinkle a tale, every pore a memory, every hair a moment that has touched her. She is indescribable, yet she is tangible. She is not you.<br />No one wants to get too close. She is never really open though her heart is like a river - ever moving, unrestrained. To see inside, under the current, the clearness of her intentions.The white noise of her raging. To be near her is to burn. She is fire.<br />No one sings her song. The soft ancient melody that the world has hummed forever, it is hers. A song that changes and forever stays the same. The dark sky that is her, full of stars, most unseen.The moon her only light. She changes the tides and you still can't see.</span></span></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.32px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="background-color: #d9ead3;">No one likes the sad girl.<br />
How would they know she is luminescent...</span></div>
</div>
mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-39416114980401214702017-09-04T20:28:00.001-04:002017-09-04T20:29:33.494-04:00Like A CuddleAs a kitty curls into your chest<br />
With trust unconditional<br />
And a child holds onto you with<br />
Innocence and true love<br />
<br />
I will let go in the same way.<br />
With love and no conditions.<br />
A hug and a kiss<br />
With understanding and sweetness.<br />
<br />
Because it means the most to everyone that way.<br />
<br />mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-69239126350323118732017-08-30T20:49:00.001-04:002017-08-30T20:49:20.865-04:00It's OkayYou can tell me things are wrong but<br />
It's okay<br />
Things may happen that cause dismay but<br />
It's okay<br />
I can pretend to be okay<br />
But I'm not.<br />
You can say you are<br />
But you aren't.<br />
I'm glad we can be honest and admit<br />
We aren't okay<br />
Just so we can be.<br />
Secrets and withheld thoughts only cause us harm<br />
Honesty and love holds us together.<br />
And that's what we are.<br />
Together.<br />
You have said it.<br />
I have said it.<br />
The universe has made it clear.<br />
We will be okay.<br />
No matter how hard or how many times we have to fight.<br />
We. Are. Okay.<br />
And that's why I love you.mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-78191377840551065722017-08-24T20:53:00.002-04:002017-08-24T20:53:57.874-04:00What Applies NowIt runs through my mind<br />
Do you want to hear?<br />
I have so many thoughts.<br />
Do I really want to share?<br />
<br />
Our lives cross paths.<br />
For reasons I am sure.<br />
We find each other to heal each other.<br />
Why wouldn't we?<br />
<br />
So many times we need.,<br />
So many times we don't ask.<br />
Yet we are here and available.<br />
We feel needed when we can help.<br />
<br />
That is what friends do.<br />
That is what your village does.<br />
We help one another.<br />
That's what applies now.<br />
<br />
As a reminder to all of us-<br />
And please, please share...<br />
We need each other, we want to help.<br />
Let us apply NOW.mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-58607833871145857852017-08-20T21:35:00.000-04:002017-08-20T21:35:16.874-04:00The WhyWe talked and you said you heard.<br />
I told you what I didn't like.<br />
We had a great night.<br />
But you chose anyway.<br />
<br />
You chose a vice over us.<br />
Was it worth it?<br />
Was your high worth the disappountment?<br />
Because it wasnt to us.<br />
<br />
I no longer worry about other opinions.<br />
I tried to protect you but no longer.<br />
Your choices are your own.<br />
As are ours.<br />
<br />
Decide whats most important.<br />
We may or may not be here in the end.<br />
<br />
<br />mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-28526098546213708742017-08-19T21:19:00.001-04:002017-08-19T21:19:41.870-04:00The EdgeIn life we walk.<br />
We choose our own paths.<br />
There are times the path is clear,<br />
And times we must clear our own.<br />
<br />
Decisions.<br />
They are so difficult to make.<br />
Because what if you're wrong?<br />
What if you are lead to a cliff?<br />
<br />
Then what?<br />
<br />
I have making my way down those paths.<br />
All leading to a cliff.<br />
One that there would be no coming back from.<br />
It terrified me.<br />
<br />
I stood there so many times.<br />
Looking over, wondering.<br />
Do I go back and find another way?<br />
Or do I jump?<br />
<br />
I have processed and pondered.<br />
Imagined and wondered.<br />
Dreamt about and longed for<br />
That edge. That jump.<br />
<br />
One day something made me stop<br />
I turned to look back<br />
It was a single gesture, a single moment<br />
With intense relief, I walked away from the edge.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-89471506182746329512017-08-16T22:37:00.004-04:002017-08-19T21:21:03.357-04:00Dear MomDear Mom,<br />
<br />
I can't.<br />
Though I want to.<br />
I long to.<br />
But I won't.<br />
All because I am not sure.<br />
<br />
What do I do? <br />
Please tell me.<br />
Please help me.<br />
<br />
Mom, I wish I could ask you.<br />
Would you know what to tell me?<br />
You would because you love me.<br />
That is all I need right now.<br />
<br />
Where do I go when nothing feels right?<br />
How do I decide what is best?<br />
Tell me Mom because I'm hurting right now.<br />
Help me make these jumbled thoughts into good decisions.<br />
<br />
Hug me Mom because I need it now.<br />
More than anything I need your hug.<br />
Tell me it will be okay and let me<br />
Lay my head on your shoulder.<br />
<br />
I can smell you and see your smile.<br />
<br />
Dear Mom,<br />
I need you.<br />
Right now.<br />
I wish you were here.<br />
<br />
I really need you.<br />
I really miss you.<br />
<br />
My heart hurts mom.<br />
It really hurts.mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-46544375328270915652017-08-05T23:13:00.001-04:002017-08-19T21:53:19.309-04:00 Let Go<div>
SHE LET GO</div>
<div>
~By Rev. Safire Rose~</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go. She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the right reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she let go.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all the memories that held her back. She let go of all the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.</div>
<div>
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go. There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t bad. It was what it was and it is just that.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In the space of letting go, she let it be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone for evermore.</div>
mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-82721200487919619382017-07-30T23:31:00.000-04:002017-08-19T21:24:38.757-04:00Discard and Gather<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>Discard and Gather</u></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">When we are born we learn to gather.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">We gather mother's milk, her love...every one's love.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">We gather language, expressions, understanding.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Muscle tone, movement, balance, control. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Emotions are the hardest and take the longest. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">As parents, we hope to help our children understand and manage them.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">What a job that is...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Emotions will always be with us, and govern us. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">How we control them is how we earn our wings in life right?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Learning to understand another human is integral; yet one of our hardest lessons.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">When you learn to understand and accept another human being - as-is -</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">That is when you understand everything else in the world.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Acceptance, not judgment. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">That is what we were put here to do. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">We learn to discard other's opinions.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Those who wish us nothing more than hurt</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">The simple misuse of human or animal affinity.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Or easily the apathetic human nature stored deep inside all of us.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">You grow and learn and accept.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">There is never a moment that isn't a lesson.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Take from others and obstacles what is best. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Discard what wasn't good. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">It wasn't meant for you anyway.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">So many people argue; so many postulate, so many mindsets. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Where is the concession?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">I want to admit something...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">You think I am talking about the world in general</span><span style="color: #274e13;">?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">No, I am asking personally. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">When you find yourself with little to gather, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">When do you allow yourself to discard?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Where is earthwork in your garden that separates the growth from the walkway?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Some choose to, or are taught to - directly or indirectly, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">to allow some sort of detached control.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">These long suffering wounds are free to fester.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">The damage, of which, disseminates everything within reach.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Misery does seek company. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">As does insufficiency.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">As with any disease, you must learn to identify indications.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Where did it begin? How did it spread?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">If it rooted in your own infrastructure, you must face it.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Accept it and heal it. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">From your heart to your mind. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">If outside of that, you find counter-agents and or medicament's to heal.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">You can't blame it on the okra growing happily beside it. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Or the spirited little weed that sprouted alongside. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">You look directly at the issue that is apparent.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><b>That is what you repair.</b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">It is the only way others will be able to gather your goodness. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">And be able to discard what isn't. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">I walk the garden of my life every single day. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">I gather the fruit of which is viable,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">And satisfying.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">I am learning to discard what is not.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">To discard what is afflicted and irreparable.. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">Then, and only then, can the bountifulness of life </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;">fall into your basket.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #274e13;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-43825759974325677572017-07-15T19:56:00.000-04:002017-08-19T21:25:17.965-04:00Driving With My Mom<div style="text-align: center;">
I dreamed last night that I was riding in the car with my mom </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
as the adult I am today. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
She reached over and put her arm on mine</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
and I couldn't help but notice how unusual it felt </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
but in my dream I couldn't understand why. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
As we drove, we didn't speak but it was a comfortable silence. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
One where you hear the wind along the car, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you can smell the grass because the windows are down, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you feel the sun on your arm and face. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
During the ride I closed my eyes and could see four small journals. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
They were mine.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Four different pastel colors with writing all over them. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
My stories, my life. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Without words she wanted me to know that she had read them. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That she had been a part of them. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
That she was there. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
It was a conscious dream. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
One where I knew I was dreaming </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Yet I knew it was real. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And it was. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And she is. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And that makes me so very happy. </div>
mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-66277213587112978852017-06-04T00:15:00.001-04:002017-08-19T21:26:44.211-04:00When Is It Okay To Be Me?If you ask me how many lives I've lived I couldn't exactly tell you. There are so many.<br />
I've lived the childhood of great adventure.<br />
And the one of immense hurt.<br />
I have been a teenager and done all of those teenage things.<br />
Yet I grew up rather quickly. Maybe I was always older...<br />
My early twenties presented me with death and love.<br />
Both brought their own lessons.<br />
I learned that I could feel more deeply and believe what my heart lead to<br />
I also learned that I could lose what I loved the most in the world<br />
And to not take things for granted.<br />
My thirties brought children and true love was discovered.<br />
Nothing ever rocked my world stronger than the two little girls God put me in charge of...<br />
Yet nothing could ever have prepared me for the heartache it takes to mother those two.<br />
I love them. I dislike them. I am not sure I am doing things right. Yet I know I will not stop being their mom. That is my purpose in life.<br />
Now into my forties I wonder - my kids are turning out okay. They have issues and please school me on any who do not. I have issues and I work them out with several outlets of help because...motheringisfuckinghard.<br />
I have also discovered that I just might want a change of life. You know, the kind that makes you, well you.<br />
I am a nomad. I like quiet. I want silence.I want to be the substance in my girls lives. I want to teach them to be strong, smart, independent, motivated, confident, and self-reliant.<br />
Now - in order to do that I must be that. Isn't it time to finally be me?<br />
The me that I have wanted for so long yet put off.<br />
For what?<br />
Why?<br />
I won't make excuses or reason. I will simply say, I have worked far too hard to make my family into what it is right now. I won't quit being strong for them.<br />
I just wonder, when is it okay to be me?mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2242193764403931245.post-26433819355903773232017-05-05T01:21:00.003-04:002017-08-19T21:27:45.610-04:00 ImportanceI know it's late and I know what you think...<br />
Why the fuck is this chick up so late?<br />
<br />
1. I seriously ADORE a thunderstorm. That in itself would keep me awake simply to hear the rain fall and feel Mother Nature's power.<br />
2. Thunderstorms are excellent for introspection and y'all know I'm full of that shit. 😳<br />
3. Thunder almost echoes my inner voice. I wish you would listen.<br />
4. Happiness isn't something that you search for and find, nor is it something that just is. You are able to find it, lose it, find it again over and over during your lifetime. Make sure that if you are "in" it right now that the other person, you, or the universe is aware. It can change quickly or very slowly. Both can be incredibly sad.<br />
5. If you, on the other hand, find joy in any given moment,celebrate that shit right this second. Say it, pray it, sing it out loud. The person who needs to hear it will. Even if it's you.<br />
6. Life makes you sad. It can and will pull you down pretending it is not as bad as you think. But that's not really life is it? Life is lifting; it reminds you all the time that you are special and you presence here is meant to be. You are important and no matter how long or how short, life is on your side. And you matter in every way.<br />
7. I could have become a preacher of sorts (ha ha!) but instead I write. I realize it isn't always rainbows and sunshine but I'm not either.<br />
Are any of us?<br />
I hope its okay with you because I really need to write. Writing is my scripture, my testimony. I really need to share my feelings - good, bad, sad, or introspective. It's the only way I feel important, heard, and human.<br />
Because being heard and/or understood is so important.<br />
<br />
I sure hope you can hear me.mysouthernsoulhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16061536555985430932noreply@blogger.com0