See, here’s the thing. I just want you to hear me.
To understand that I’m a good person.
I have a voice worth hearing.
A woman who sees many things.
More importantly, a human who can understand well beyond common context.
I don't say that boastfully.
It is simply true.
I always have, even as a young child.
My heart developed words that my mind heard.
I have always listened.
I respect your opinion, your thoughts, your ways.
So why can’t you just accept me?
Why do I even have to ask?
Why do I even care?
Why should I?
I’m so tired of your (of everyone's)
inability to allow me to be me.
It's too much I suppose.
Don't be sad for me or assume I need sympathy.
Don't feel like you have to say something.
I’m not always happy; in fact, I’m usually struggling with something every single moment.
I have anxiety and depression.
It is diagnosed.
It can rear its ugly head and bring me tomy knees.
It’s really fucking cumbersome and I get tired.
I have so many moments I don’t share because none of you understand.
How can you explain something to others that they can’t see?
Cant even feel?
But I do, profoundly.
But I'm not the sad girl.
I want to shout. So loudly.
But no one wants to hear that do they?
I want state fervently every word that comes to mind.
Obviously, that shit doesn’t work.
I accept that.
I really just want to leave.
To be alone.
To take care of me because no one else can.
And to let nature surround me with loving warmth
even on the coldest days.
I know I make you uncomfortable.
I know you don’t know what to say.
I get it.
I understand, some things are just too much.
Maybe I am too much.
That’s why I feel alone.
You wouldn’t hold my hand anyway; you’re too timid.
So I walk alone.
As I guess I should.
I suppose that is what is meant for me.
I think I'm okay with that.
So...I Walk.
I walk.
