There has been a lot of soul searching going on within me lately. There has been a change at work that directly affects me, a shift at home that affects my whole family, an enlightenment within me that has made me into a - wait - hold on - confident person, wife, and mother.
I have FINALLY come to the actual moment in my life when I don't feel the need to equalize myself with anyone else, be another person in front of someone, or be anyone other than me.
I used to be afraid someone would think my house was not up to snuff - it isn't but it is my home, I love it, and who really cares??? - my last name isn't "Jones" (that is such a laugh - what a ridiculous game), my mothering skills weren't to Dr. Spock's standards (my daughter is a warm, loving - loved, beautiful (inside/outside), and sensationally entertaining lady - how could I have messed up that badly???
There are so many times when I second guess myself, my life, my parenting, my "spousing" (is that even a word?), my professional skills, my self image. I want it t stop. I want freedom from stupid, sensationalized, and utterly ridiculous ideals of who and what we all should be.
Why should I accept what someone else tells me I, my lifestyle, my daughter, my marriage, or my soul, should be?
I worry all the time, I analyze things too deeply, I am so hard on myself and my family - but aside from all of that - I am absolutely, simply, and truly happy.
Not only do I have the most wonderful and loving family, I have the most amazing and true friends. Please tell me is there anything aside from those two things - plus good food and wine - that a girl could ask for???????????
Nope.
Those who know who they are - I love you more than life...
