When someone is speaking to you, do you really listen?
Are your ears invisible because you are unfocused and/or conjuring up your own response or experience?
Ralph Nichols said
"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. They best way to understand people is to listen to them".
I need to talk about ears right now. Being heard is vital. It validates feelings whether the other person agrees with them or not, it lends value making that person feel they are important enough to listen to, it creates connection that so many of us long for every day, and it can heal pain, resentment, loneliness, and fear. So why do we fail at really listening?
We fail because we have become self-absorbed. We fail because human relationships have become impersonal. We fail because more than not, things matter more than people. What a complete shame. When you think about it, where does the bulk of your joy ascend from - things or people? Exactly.
Empathy is relevant anymore. I am guilty. I, so many times, find myself thinking of my response, thinking of something else entirely, wondering the intent of one's words, or judging. I should really be consciously hearing, feeling, seeing, and understanding their thoughts and words.
I make a serious effort to do that as much as humanly possible. I don't succeed every time but I try.
On the other end, because I am the "ears" for so many people, I feel a need to put their feelings and needs above my own. I want so badly to make people happy. I am truly interested in what they have to say and how they come about their ideas. I am also grateful that I am the person that others feel comfortable and trusting enough to share their inner most thoughts with.
Very grateful.
I have one question though...where are my ears?
They are invisible.
When I need someone to HEAR me or understand me, I feel like there aren't ears that want to listen. That I am irrelevant, that their thoughts and needs are far more important and extensive than my own .Every one has a story. It is true. Why aren't there enough ears to listen?
Listening isn't just opening your ears. It is opening your heart, opening you mind, and quite possibly changing someone's life forever.
Simply by making your ears visible.
LISTEN.
YOU JUST MIGHT MAKE SOMEONE FEEL...
VISIBLE.
